This year has been so depressing. Bug and I have desperately been trying to write but we've maybe done the equivalent of 1 chapter spread out over the year. My pain dr won't do anything about the meds not helping b/c my pain is getting worse because a ton of physical work has been dumped on me in the past year. Drs won't do anything about my worsening sleep problems either.
We lost two of our cats, Toby and Susan, just a few months ago. We've been having mounting problems with medical and dental issues. I have panick attacks almost every day. During the worst of them, bug tried to give me a hug and because I was rocking so hard (they were on/behind me and I was in a sort of fetal position) the movement ended up hurting their neck/back where they have spondelosis, exactly the thing I try to prevent them doing to themselves when they have a seizure. and they spend the rest of the day having to crawl everywhere because they couldn't feel their feet. Bug desperately needs to see a dentist who can work on them w/o damaging their neck by tilting/turning it the wrong way or thy''ll loose their teeth soon (their meds dry their mouth making decay/gingivitis accelerate). They also need to get rod put in their neck to stablise it from the spondelosis that started back in childhood and has been getting worse- the bones are crumbling. I need two teeth worked on too or I'll loose them, but that is much less important than her tooth and neck problems.
Whenever i look at A Bittersweet Potion or other fanfic work, or see some post about how its supposedly discontinued I end up crying. Ditto for any of my rat genetics articles. I repeatedly fuck up paying the bills, getting things in late, sending the wrong amounts to the wrong companies (like switching the figures, dyslexic). I am completely useless and if I wasn't terrified of what would happen to Bugland, and of screwing it up and ending up in a hospital i'd probably be ded already.
My grandmother is dying; it's the 20th anniversary of my dad's death and Last month we had a terrible emergancy with our Disability Service Dog Mickey and expected him to die. Mickey is named for my grandfather who also died less than a year before my father when I was in highschool. Our regular vet would allow us to pay what we could over time, but they couldn't help him and we had to go to a specialty vet- who doesn't know us and won't do that for us. Diagnosing him alone required multiple X-Rays., Ultrasounds, a Spinal tap and even a fucking MRI of his brain and spine!
The bills are already around $10,000 and will probably be double that by the time we are done, as he is on a shitload of pain meds and expensive antibiotics that he has to be on for months, plus check-up visits and more XRays and possibly another MRI to know when he is in the "clear"/"cured". I used up what little savings we had, our credit cards are maxed out, my mum's are or soon will be, and other than me tam my mum and grandmother there's no other family to go to.
We're supposed to have in-home help, but we've had help for over a month (long story, if you want to know about it, its in the link below. So I'm doing twice the physical work load I am used to and on less pain meds b/c the dr's are either too scared of the FDA or dn't believe i hurt as much as I claim, esp given my age. Ontop of that, I've been sick for the past 3 and a half weeks, despite being on antibiotics. I feel like I have mono again even though I've been told you cant have it twice... I struggle to be awake more than 6 hrs a day... struggle more so that the 6hrs are during business hours so I can get things done.
This is the PLEA:
PLEASE if you can take just a couple minutes and click some buttons and ask your friends to. You don't have to spend anything. I need to keep the page telling our dog's story well-visitted enough (if it falls under a certain # visitors, they disable it) to keep ads on it which doesn't give me alot in revenu, but every little bit counts. Make it your homepage to guarantee a hit a day? Ask friends to? That page is here: http://rodentfancy.com/pets/help-for-mic
TIME SENSITIVE!!! I know this is late, but with everything going on, and crying every time I tried to write or edit photos, i didn't get it done until now. ... There is a pet costume contest on the Pet Supplies Plus page. We usually go to the in store costume contests, but Mickey isn't allowed to go out due to the injuries! Voting ends on the night of the 31st so if you have a facebook page, PLEASE vote for our dog and ask your FB friends to vote for him. If we win, we'll get a gift certificate which will help us buy the pet food while we put all our $ towards the vet costs.
Here is the link to vote for him in the costume contest: http://bit.ly/1pQKMIs I know I fucked up getting him entered so late, but If enough people vote and enough people get their friends to vote, maybe we can at least get 3rd prize? We have to try!
There are other options on the http://rodentfancy.com/pets/help-for-mic
Thank you everyone who helps in any way, even just visiting the page for ad revenue.
Here as everywhere else, context makes a big difference. Here's an example from my own life.
I'm male-bodied; people generally read me as a man. Earlier this year I went to a party in drag (and hey, I thought I looked rather fetching). I was walking down a busy street after dark, when someone in the shadows I couldn't quite see called out "Hello darling."
Ordinarily, I wouldn't hear that a threat. But I can tell you that in *that* context it was a moment of raw terror. All the recent newspaper stories of street assaults ran through my head. If he thinks I'm a woman, maybe he's going to assault me (hell, if he thinks I'm a man in drag, maybe he's going to assault me). By appearing female in public I had effectively painted a huge target on my back.
Now of course men get attacked in the street too. But you don't expect that sort of attack to begin with the attacker saying "hello". If someone had come up to me with a knife I'd have been terrified whether I was dressed as a woman or not. But "hello, darling" is often the start of a very different script, and I was someone who might plausibly be cast in that script in a very unpleasant role.
So I can attest to the terror it can cause when a stranger tries to greet you in the street.
Ever feel so strongly about the non-existence of a given image macro that the world just seemed out of balance until you went and made it yourself?
Yeah, uh, me neither. ^_^;;( Well, actually, images are under the cut )
I am currently watching Star Trek VOY, Star Trek TNG, and 30 Rock. I also started House of Cards before the holiday and want to continue that.
Too bad Battlestar Galactica is currently unavailable.
What are your favorite series or movies available on Netflix US?
Seattle and San Francisco were great, Redwood was stunning, as were Kings Canyon/Sequoia and Joshua Tree. The Red Rock Canyon State Park was really nice, especially for such a small area.
I must say, though, that I was underwhelmed by both Yosemite and the Grand Canyon. Both were very "touristy" and with Yosemite we could really only see the Valley, which is stunning, but somehow my expectations were really high. And the Grand Canyon is beautiful and stunning and spectacular, but unless you can actually hike down it sort of feels like viewing a pretty picture, maybe? And way, way too touristy. We hiked a bit and that was nice, but nothing compared to hiking at Redwood or Joshua Tree.
Is this completely strange? Am I the only person not spiritually transformed by seeing the Grand Canyon?
Now I get to dither with myself over whether to start using it immediately or to put it under the Christmas tree.
Speaking of Christmas, there's a new Pentatonix holiday EP coming out today, and I can't decide whether to buy it immediately or let someone else have the chance to give it to me. Instant gratification is so tempting.
I found out yesterday that Guster is coming back to town next February! The presale tickets are supposed to go on sale today at noon. They're doing some sort of promotion where everyone who buys a concert ticket gets a free download of the new album when it drops in January. If I end up receiving 4 download codes, I'll try to pass the other three along.
Our chorus concert is finally upon us. I never did get a chance to audition for solo parts, because the director decided to just choose who he wanted. I can't complain though, because I probably would have made the same choices in his position. There is more than one piece that we've only rehearsed in full once, so I'm a bit nervous, but I really love the program. I'm going to try to insist that Robby bring the boys this year. I think they're old enough to behave themselves, and everything we're singing this time is in English.
I need to ask Heather's husband if he's still open to the idea of sitting with the kids on rehearsal nights so that Robby can join us next year for Carmina Burana. The women in the chorus outnumber the men two to one, so I know his voice would be a welcome addition. One of my high school friends is planning to join us for that as well. Should be fun!
They will stand beside you
When all things are good.
And in the times when things are bad
Beside you they have stood.
They always tell the truth to you
As every good friend must
And they are reliable:
Friends you always trust.
They never will say nasty things
About the clothes you wear
They'll stand up for you against others
When you're not there.
You can always trust your friends
To hold your place in queues.
They'll always tell you "You played well",
Even if you lose.
Always keeping by your side:
Friendship never ends.
Yet, after all, we're only human:
Who has friends?
Redwood was amazing.
Yosemite was nice, but Yosemite Valley is way too touristy for me. Couldn't do much else because the husband has a cold.
Kings Canyon is amazing and wonderful and did I mention amazing?
Oh, and Netflix US is great. I got a craving for Sci-fi again and now I am rewatching Star Trek Voyager. Oh my, that series is... Sometimes great and sometimes really awful.
Earlier on you were lost like a slave I can't free.
I understand you.
Is it because I deceived you that you came to me?
My, my, my, Eliza!
Why, why, why, Eliza?
I can see you're just a conditional tree
But you remind me we came here to talk about me.
So in a week or so, I should receive a second generation iPad mini. The only significant difference between it and the new one is the addition of Touch ID, which isn't a killer feature in my book.
My first generation iPad mini is still ticking along faithfully, but the headphone jack no longer works, and it only has 16 GB of memory, making it difficult to free up enough space to upgrade to iOS 8. The new one I ordered today will have 32 GB. I'm also looking forward to having a Retina display.
Also, with the release of Yosemite today, my laptop is now three major OS versions out of date. I should probably get around to upgrading it sometime in the next few months.